Michael Moore (admiralmemo) wrote,
Michael Moore
admiralmemo

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Grrrrrr......

Note: Written last night. Only had time to get online and post this morning.

My dad is an idiot. He seems to think that yelling at everything will fix stuff. He's yelling at me for being online when he wants to call. So, I get offline. Then, I tell him, "Alright. I'm offline now. You can call." And he starts yelling at that. Apparently, me telling him that was redundant information and he yells at me.
He yells at everything. If something isn't the way HE wants it, he yells. He needs to learn that the world doesn't revolve around him. I've learned that and I'm less than half his age.
Last night, when he couldn't think of a certain word (reparations), I said I'd get a dictionary. He starts yelling at me for that. My mom yells back, "Why are you yelling at him?" He yells, "Because he's being STUPID! If I don't know what the word IS, how can he look it up in the dictionary?" I said, "Well, you SAID that it began with 'r-e-p-a-r,' so I was going to look that much up in the dictionary. I'd be at least in the area." So he yells at me, "I never SAID that's what it started with." Then, at the end of the movie, there's text on the screen and he says, "See? Why do we need the dictionary when it's right there?" I'm thinking, "If you've never seen the movie before, how can you KNOW that it would be on the screen at the end?"
He yells at the cats. He yells at the dogs when they're in his way. He yells at inanimate objects. He's just gotten stupider and grumpier as the years have gone by. The only things that please him are his stamp collection and his coin collection. I don't know about work, because I've never been there with him. I don't know if he yells at work, but he doesn't really yell about it. But, when it comes to everything else, he yells. Yelling never solves anything except ruining your voice.

I hope he permanently loses his voice sometime so I wouldn't have to listen to his crap. Maybe if I strangle him, his voice box will be crushed and it'll be final. He is a complete idiot and there are times I really, really hate him. That's kind of why I've become hooked onto the Internet. It's my escape from him. He's downstairs spouting off about this and that all the time. I simply go up here to my room and escape his "wrath at the world" by going on the computer. I just KNOW that any time we spend more than 5 minutes together, he's going to start yelling at SOMETHING. If I lack online time, I read books or listen to music.

I'll be so glad when I get out of this house and don't have to put up with him anymore. I won't give him a key to my new home, because I won't want him there if he's going to yell and complain at everything. I could just come back here if I wanted that. He's not entering my new home. Period.

And I KNOW that if he ever heard me say that, he'd yell at that, too. I'm fed up with his years of yelling. If he wants to ruin his voice, why doesn't he just go the whole route and shoot out his larynx?

And I'm sorry that I inherited his temper. There are times I wish I had a different father. I pretty much know he wishes he had a different son.

This problem has been ongoing for many, many years, but it's gotten especially bad within the past 3 years.

I hope he learns his lesson someday. I truly do. There are times I believe that I will be the unfortunate one to have to teach it to him.

Edit: I just noticed that when I'm not typing, my hands are shaking and in fists. My teeth are also involuntarily grinding. That is not a good sign. He's affecting my health and emotional well-being by stressing me out.

Edit #2: Gum is helping the grinding. I'll see if holding and reading a book will help the shaking.
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