Michael Moore (admiralmemo) wrote,
Michael Moore

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Several stories. One post.

OK... First story...

Yesterday, I made Mrs. Eleanor at work think she was going nuts. Hehehe... What I did was quite simple. At work, there are 2 phone numbers. One is for the phone and one is for the computer for remote login by the big managers. Well, while Mrs. Eleanor was on the phone and I decided to call the modem up through my cell phone and watch through the little window between the crew room and the manager room. As the modem unsuccessfully tried to connect to my phone, I said, "Help me... Help me, Mrs. Eleanor... I'm in the computer... Help me..." So what does she do, but go over to the corner, look, then listen. However, the final touch was that she asked someone, "Do you hear someone saying 'Help me'?" When he said, "No," she started backing away from the office to go back up front. I was busting a gut laughing at that and when I told her, she was laughing hard, too. She said, "I knew in the back of my mind, 'Why does that sound like Mike?'" That just made my day. My face hurt from laughing that day.

OK... Second story...

Jenny called me yesterday. Well, about 3/4 of the way through the conversation, her battery died. So, I did the logical thing and called her mom's house number to continue talking to her. So, we finish her conversation and she says, "OK, I've got to hang up now and call my Grandma." So I tell her, "Bye" and hear a click. I put my phone down, because it automatically disconnects when the other party hangs up. So, I was quite surprised when I heard over the phone, "Mike? Are you still there?" I picked it up and said, "Jenny? I thought you hung up." So, Jenny said, "I did. Why are you still on here?" I'm like, "I don't know. Maybe it's a glitch. Try again." So she did. A minute later, she's back on. It was very confusing. She couldn't hang up! So I tried to hang up my phone. No success. She's still there. We try several solutions, without success. Finally, it took turning the whole cell phone off to disconnect. In any case, "The Telephone Conversation That Wouldn't End" was quite weird.

OK... Third story...

Today, a new person came to work today. His name is Ricardo. He's kind of like me in that he's a bit of a "play-boy." (No, not THAT type of PlayBoy. :-P I mean he likes to tease and play around a lot.) Anyway, on break, I go in the back to find him lounging on a chair with his feet on the other one. Angie was using the third chair, so I had no place to sit. I asked him to move his feet and he told me, "No." So, when Angie got up, I used her chair. So now, Angie goes to sit down and Ricardo moves his feet for her. So, I tell him, "Oh, you'll move your feet for her, but not for me?" He tells me, "She's a lady and she deserves it." So, I say, "And I don't?" and throw a fry at him. He retaliates by throwing a pack of Sweet and Sour sauce at me, missing by a mile. He then picks up a pack of Hot Mustard and aims. He says, "This one's open. Say you're sorry." So I say, "I'm sorry..." and he puts it down. I then finish with, "... that you're so ugly." He goes to pick it back up when I put my hands out in defense and go, "I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" So, he finally moves and goes back to work and I grab his seat and go read Voyagers for a while. Well, he comes back and throws a pickle slice at me. It doesn't hit me and lands in someone's shoe. I give him a look, but don't retaliate. Then, he comes back and is "threatening" me with his lighter. So, what do I do but take the Windex and shoot it out. So, after I'm coming back from break, he throws a couple more pickle slices at me. I get him with the Windex again. At this point, we're still cool and still just playing.
However, we're chatting up front when someone tells him that he should put his money a little further in his pocket or someone might steal it. He pulls out his knife and says, "Anyone going into that pocket ain't coming out." I'm like, "Yeah. What are they going to try to steal that little bit of money for anyway?" He's like, "It ain't worth it," and pulls out his money to see how much there is. I look and say, "What? $22? You're right. That ain't worth it." He says, "It's more than you've got in your little dinky wallet." Well, I didn't know how much I had in my wallet anyway, so I pull it out and open it to count it. So, what's he do, but snatch my money out of my wallet and start running to the back.
Apparently, at this point, instinct just took over, because I didn't realize what I did until after I did it. I had taken two steps and had lifted him into the air through a choke hold from behind. He weakly handed the money back and I let him go. It wasn't until I let him go that I regained control and reason.
Mrs. Eleanor dropped the bag she was holding when she saw me do that. There were no words. I apparently didn't know my own strength and speed. Plus, I had the element of surprise on him. It was so surprising, that I surprised myself. I mean, I wouldn't have strangled the guy to death or anything over $13. I just wanted to intimidate him a bit. He can play with me all he wants, but he can't touch my money. It's not like I'm greedy or anything. It's that I need that money to get by.
The ironic thing was what he was talking about right before he did that. It wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth it on any of our parts.
Anyway, he avoided me and gave me dirty looks the rest of the day. He said he'd "get" me when I got off, but that didn't pan out. I tried to make amends with him, but he wouldn't listen. I hope he decides to forgive me soon.

The fourth "story" isn't really a story. It's just that my mom went and saw The Passion of the Christ on Thursday and when she came home, she told me she was just blown away by it. She said it was so gripping and exciting and interesting. She said that anyone should see it, even if they don't believe in it. It's that powerful and just different. I'm hoping to see it sometime this weekend, or maybe next week.

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