Michael Moore (admiralmemo) wrote,
Michael Moore

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My life, or something like it...

OK. This is pretty much a quick summary of my life since my last post.

Duchess died on Thursday. After my mom took me from one work to the other, she came home to Duchess crying like a bugger. She heard her crying from the front door, and she was in the bathroom with all the doors closed, so that was a definite bad sign. So, she went in there and carried her to the car and drove like a mad woman to the vet. Duchess was unconscious by the time she got to the vet. Dr. Derosa examined her and confirmed what my mom had thought: Duchess's spleen cancer tumor had ruptured and had filled her entire abdomen with blood, compressing all other organs. Duchess, even though unconscious, was clearly in severe pain, so my mom decided to have her put down. She would have died naturally in a few more hours, anyway, but this way, it wasn't painful. We miss her, but I'm kind of glad she's gone, so my dad won't have a stroke or aneurysm yelling at her anymore.

Work at Maryland Repro right now is a PITA! (For anyone who doesn't know what that means, it's an acronym, beginning with "Pain.") Ever since Thursday, I've been working lots of overtime on this stupid Siemen's job. It's three banker's boxes filled to the brim with papers and they want three copies of everything. Now, it wouldn't be so bad if it was all regular papers, but it's not. Half of these things have tiny receipts stapled all over them, some pages are upside-down or backwards, and most have way too many staples in them. Also, stapling things on the right side of the paper, instead of the top left, like normal, is not that bright if you're trying to read the stuff. Then, there's staples in the middle of the page. The one that gets me is the staples stuck in one sheet of paper. How about the ones that have more staples in them than actual pages? The reason they're doing this job is due to the Baltimore City Public School system losing $14 million in over-budgeting. They're going through all their records and trying to find where the money went. They found one guy stealing about $500 thousand, but that still leaves a whole lot missing. Several other printers turned this job down, for obvious reasons. Oh, and I need to remind myself that, if I ever meet Charlie Hamel, I need to severely beat with his insanely large pile of piddly $1 receipts.

Problems at McDonald's are more infrequent now, for the simple reason that I'm not there as much now. However, I'm thinking I should make up a huge poster and set it outside McDonald's for customers. It will read:

We no longer sell fajitas, chicken flatbreads, strawberry sundaes, hot wings, mozzarella sticks, Philly cheesesteaks, hot dogs, Big Extras, large parfaits, large McFlurries, bleu cheese dressing, Italian dressing, honey mustard dressing, ranch nugget sauce, or the special flavors of pies or milkshakes from previous months.
We have never sold chocolate ice cream, fruit punch, strawberry soda, any soda by Fanta, or crabcakes.
Our lemonade is no longer pink. It is yellow. However, it is the same flavor lemonade it used to be. Only the color changed.
While "Big & Nasty" may be what the burger tastes like, the menu item is named "Big & Tasty."
The #10 meal is the McChicken Value Meal. The 10-Piece Nugget Value Meal is the #5.
You cannot buy any breakfast items after 11 AM. You cannot buy any lunch items before 10:30 AM.
Please make your order in clear English. Chances are, we do not have a person who speaks your native language.
If you would like to have your order specially prepared, say that at the time you are ordering, not at the time you receive your food.
Fries that are right out of the grease are as hot as we can make them.
When you drive up, your car triggers a sensor that turns the speaker on. There is no reason to yell "Helloooooooo????" in our ears as soon as you drive up. We can already hear you and will ask for your order as soon as we can. It can only serve to annoy us.
There is no need for us to have to repeat your order back to you. There is a display on the speaker you are speaking into that shows you the items you ordered and your price.
No, we are not overcharging you. The drink rings up separately from the meal so the computer can make sense of which drink you want. Add the two prices together and you get the displayed price.
If a certain drink type is broken in the lobby, there's a good chance it's broken in the drive-thru, too.
You cannot sleep or smoke in the lobby.
Please do not stay in our lobby for more than four hours.
Napkins are in the large red dispenser that says "Napkins."
Being banned from the store for disorderly behavior gives you no right to shoot BB guns at our windows.
It is not our fault if you slip and fall on the floor right next to the large "Wet Floor" sign.
We cannot refund money for food purchased at another McDonald's.
Employees do not even get free food, so please do not ask if you can.
If you ask for condiments, but do not specify how many, I will make a judgment call and give you how many I think you need. Do not get angry if you get too few.
McDonald's employees are not telepathic.
The toy types I name are the only ones available. Asking for a toy we don't have in stock a second or third time will not make it magically appear.
We do not accept credit cards, bank cards, $50s, or $100s. This is already displayed on every door and on the drive-thru speaker you speak into.
This is not Burger King, Wendy's, KFC, or any other fast food store than McDonald's.
This is a fast food restaurant, not an instant food restaurant.

Thank you for choosing McDonald's.

I'm really caught up on my friends' posts this time. My quiz post will actually be tomorrow, this time.

On a final note, Happy Fourth of July! Happy Independence Day! Or, as the British probably call it, "Finally got rid of those pesky colonists" Day.

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